


Fighter [Kihyun x Changkyun au]

by kjwrains



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-21
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-05 16:31:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14048301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kjwrains/pseuds/kjwrains
Summary: • They’ve only been together a year, but Changkyun can’t imagine a life without Kihyun. Unbeknownst to him, Kihyun is starting to feel differently. So what happens when an unsuspecting Kihyun bumps into a ghost from his past? •





	1. 01.

**Author's Note:**

> this is also being posted onto my twitter page - @pixelkth_

Changkyun can’t believe his luck. 

 

He’s sleep deprived, running on three hours and he’s spent most of his day downing cheap coffee made in the back of Minhyuk’s kitchen. His eyes are heavily lidded, and whilst most of the people in his best friend’s house are either drunk, high or dancing, Changkyun is doing his best to avoid just about everyone who curiously glances in his direction. 

 

His fingers are curled around yet another mug of coffee, and it burns his throat as he downs half of it. His eyes flicker to the clock on the wall and it’s barely past ten pm. He curses Minhyuk for inviting him to this stupid party, because he honestly has no idea why he’s here. Parties aren’t his thing; they never have been. The first and last time he’d been to party, he’d drank so much alcohol that he’d almost gotten arrested for streaking in the middle of the street all because Minhyuk had dared him to. 

 

It was also Minhyuk who had dared him to get a home made tattoo - his friend still likes to brag about being responsible for the askew drawing of a 2D star that had been permanently embedded into the skin behind Changkyun’s left ear. Minhyuk was also responsible for the scar above Changkyun’s eyebrow, from when he’d stupidly agreed to walk the plank using a piece of plasterboard that was not at all strong enough to hold his weight and had resulted in a painful collision with the edge of Minhyuk’s swimming pool. There had been a lot of blood, and once he’d regained feeling in the left side of his face, Changkyun had vowed to never attend any of Minhyuk’s parties again. 

 

Yet here he is, leaning against the counter by the fridge, index finger tracing the scar above his eyebrow. He grimaces, eyebrows furrowing into a glare when yet another person enters the kitchen. He doesn’t bother looking at who it is, his eyes trained in on his coffee that he’s sure is now too cold to drink. A person accidentally nudges him, and Changkyun immediately shifts to step out of their way. The kitchen is suddenly silent, but just when he thinks he’s been left alone, a hand curls around Changkyun’s wrist. 

 

Startled, he almost drops his mug of coffee. Flinching, he pulls back, eyes looking up and settling upon a very familiar face. 

 

Changkyun swallows. 

 

Dark eyes watch him, and Changkyun can feel himself getting lost in them with just one glance. His skin feels hot and the room feels a hundred times smaller than it did two seconds ago. He breathes in heavily, eyebrows furrowing.

 

“What are you doing here?” 

 

Kihyun visibly flinches. Changkyun immediately feels guilty, watching helplessly as Kihyun’s eyes narrow. Clearing his throat, he places the unfinished coffee by the sink, shifting on his feet awkwardly. 

 

The last time they’d seen each other was late the previous night, Changkyun having watched Kihyun storm out of his flat in a hot temper. He’d missed him, worried about him, painstakingly thought about him. He hasn’t slept since Kihyun left and now that he’s looking at him, his temple is beginning to throb painfully. He doesn’t want to carry on fighting. He’s tired and his head hurts, but it seems that Kihyun isn’t ready to let it go. 

 

Arms hanging limply by his side, Kihyun asks the younger, “What are _you_ doing here?” 

 

Changkyun doesn’t know how to answer. Actually, he doesn’t _want_ to answer. It’s at that moment that he begins to zone out, his eyes trailing over the elder’s lithe form. 

 

_He looks good_ , Changkyun thinks. Kihyun is just wearing a pair of ripped jeans with a baggy jumper, but to Changkyun, even when he’s hot headed, Kihyun is still the most beautiful man he’s ever met. His face is bare - Changkyun has grown so accustomed to Kihyun’s glasses, he can’t remember the last time he’d seen him without them - and his skin is glowing. A soft golden glow that Changkyun cant help but stare at, that he can’t help but want to trace his fingers all over. He stares and stares and stares. He’s already memorised every inch of Kihyun’s body, time and time again. His fingers have traced the scars on his wrists and he’s kissed the vein that runs down Kihyun’s neck so many times, Changkyun has lost count. And suddenly Changkyun forgets that he’s angry with him. Now, he wants to kiss him. 

 

Kihyun is talking, babbling, rambling on about something that Changkyun isn’t even hearing. He can see Kihyun’s cherry red lips moving, but Changkyun isn’t paying attention to what he’s saying. And it doesn’t take long for Kihyun to realise. 

 

“-You even listening to me!?”

 

Changkyun blinks, his gaze focusing back onto Kihyun’s. “What?” He blurts dumbly. 

 

Kihyun sighs. He runs a hand through his hair, the pink strands falling into his eyes. There are dark rings under his eyes and he looks just as exhausted as Changkyun feels. He pushes his fringe back from his face and he dares to inch closer to the younger man. “I don’t want to keep fighting, Kyunnie.” 

 

Changkyun melts. He can’t help it. He doesn’t exactly remember how their argument even started, but hearing Kihyun whisper his name sends a shudder down his spine. He lets Kihyun take his hand, the elder’s lips parting. But before Kihyun can say another word, Changkyun closes the distance and presses their lips together. 

 

Kihyun stiffens. There are a thousand different ways he’d expected this argument to end, but this wasn’t one of them. He’s angry. So infuriatingly angry that he can feel it heating up his skin and his heart races, lurches, throbs across his entire body before settling in the depths of his stomach. 

 

But as angry as he is, he can’t help but admit that he’s missed Changkyun. His hands move of their own accord and he’s pulling Changkyun closer, his tongue battling against the younger’s. Someone moans, and then suddenly Changkyun shifts and presses Kihyun against the counter, the hard surface digging painfully into the pink haired male’s spine. But Kihyun doesn’t care. His fingers lose themselves in the dark strands of Changkyun’s hair, a tug emitting a low groan from the back of his throat. Changkyun’s fingers bite into his hips, drawing him in, their breaths mingling together and becoming one. 

 

It’s Kihyun who breaks the kiss first, lips swollen and eyes ablaze. They catch their breaths and for a long time, neither of them say a word. Kihyun feels numb. There’s a dull ache of regret that tastes bitter and he has to force himself to swallow it down. He winces.

 

Changkyun licks his lips and he pulls back, the corner of his mouth tilting up into a lopsided smirk. The sight causes Kihyun to feel nauseous and with one shaking hand, he roughly shoves the younger backwards. Changkyun stumbles, caught off guard. He catches his balance on the table behind him, and with wide eyes, he gapes at Kihyun. “What the fuc-?” 

 

“I fucking told you no!” 

 

The kitchen door is thrown open, and even though the music is deafening, Kihyun still hears Minhyuk squeal, “It’s just a few friends!”

 

Jooheon is the first to enter the kitchen, expression murderous. He doesn’t notice the two men occupying the kitchen and turns to glare at Minhyuk from over his shoulder, “There are like fifty people in my living room!” He throws his hands up, frustrated. “I don’t even fucking know half of them.” 

 

Behind him, Minhyuk giggles loudly. Kihyun guesses that he’s drunk. Changkyun doesn’t even look at them; he’s still staring at Kihyun. But it’s Jooheon who notices them first and he suddenly stops walking, Minhyuk groaning as he collides with his back. “Why’d-?”

 

“Hey guys,” Jooheon speaks over Minhyuk, eyes flickering between Changkyun and Kihyun. With the kitchen door now shut, it is easier to hear the others speak. The former acknowledges them with a nod of the head, and Kihyun forces a smile to his lips and waves. 

 

Jooheon and Minhyuk are nice enough, Kihyun thinks. They’ve always been kind to him, whether it be on campus or when they all hung out at Changkyun’s flat. But as nice as they are, Kihyun can’t help but think about how they are Changkyun’s friends, not his. 

 

A lot of things belong to Changkyun, Kihyun notices. 

 

His friends, the flat they share, the car Changkyun drives. Hell, even the jumper he’s wearing belongs to Changkyun. And it angers him. It angers him that Changkyun has taken over his life, without either of them even meaning for it to happen. Kihyun still has his dorm room at the university they attend, he still has enough of his own savings to buy his own car, and he has his own wardrobe filled with his own damned clothes. 

 

Yet here he is, wearing Changkyun’s jumper, standing in the middle of Jooheon’s kitchen, feeling like he’s going to cry. 

 

But he doesn’t. 

 

He sniffs, stands up straight and he takes a step towards the door. “Thanks for letting me come to your party,” He tells Jooheon, even though the both of them know that he wasn’t invited in the first place. But still, Jooheon nods and shakes his hand, grinning. 

 

“Come by any time,” He offers, even though he knows Kihyun won’t. Kihyun smiles politely at both Jooheon and Minhyuk, and without looking at Changkyun, he throws the door open and escapes as fast as he can. 

 

He hears Changkyun call his name, but the door swings shut behind him and his body is soon encased by the mass of young adults that occupy Jooheon’s living room. The music deafens him and even though he has no idea what song it is, he bobs his head to the beat as he gradually makes his way through the crowd to the front door. He doesn’t know any of the people here, but that doesn’t stop him noticing the couple dry humping by the stairs or the boy who just threw up into a vase that Jooheon’s parents had given to him as a house warming present. Kihyun grimaces and quickens his pace. 

 

However, just as he’s about to exit the room, Kihyun freezes. He feels someone’s gaze on him, the hairs on the back of his neck standing on end. Suspecting Changkyun, his head turns to the left and his eyes frantically searching the crowd for the dark haired man. But with such bad lighting, Kihyun doesn’t see him. He gives up, deciding that Changkyun’s ego is probably too wounded to follow him, so he turns around again. Only, he’s not looking where he’s walking and as he steps towards the front door again, he crashes straight into someone. 

 

“O-Oh!” Kihyun stammers, stumbling backwards. His nose feels bruised and his eyes are now watering. He blinks rapidly, choking out an apology, “I-I’m so sorry!” 

 

Kihyun hears a loud laugh and when he looks up, his body immediately seizes up. 

 

As soon as his gaze meets the teasing smirk and the perfectly messy hair, Kihyun wishes he didn’t bother wasting his breath on an apology. He feels his fists clench and the action doesn’t go unnoticed, earning himself another loud bark of laughter that he hears clearly over the blundering music. Kihyun’s eyes narrow. Clad in a turtle neck jumper and a jet black leather jacket, stands the one person whose name has Kihyun - for as long as he can remember - seething with burning hatred. Kihyun whispers his name, and although the man in question doesn’t hear him, he reads his lips clearly, mouth slowly morphing into a smirk - which only irritates Kihyun further.

 

“Lee Wonho.”


	2. 02.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow me on twitter: @jord___n

Kihyun feels sick. 

 

He’s sat in the middle of a lecture, his eyes heavy due to lack of sleep, his forehead slick with a thin sheet of sweat. He exhales, running his fingers through his hair, only to grimace when he feels the damp strands sticking to his temple. He can feel his pulse throbbing in his neck and he thinks he’s going to throw up.

 

Beside him, Changkyun eyes him, chewing on his bottom lip. He’s been stealing glances at him for the past twenty minutes, but so far, Kihyun has avoided his gaze. It’s been over a week since their fight, and although they’ve agreed to let it go, Changkyun can’t help but feel as if things aren’t completely okay. At home, they’ve been civil towards one another, Changkyun thinks, but he isn’t stupid. He knows Kihyun is purposely putting a distance between them. 

 

But what he doesn’t know is that the reason why is sat in the row in front of them. 

 

Wonho noticed Kihyun as soon as he entered the room twenty minutes ago. He also noticed the way Kihyun’s face had paled upon seeing him. The sight had brought a grin to his lips, only for it to falter when he saw the black haired man sitting beside Kihyun. 

 

It has been exactly four years and nine months and two days since Wonho and Kihyun had last seen each other - not that Wonho kept count. He had almost forgotten what Kihyun looked like. He’d almost forgotten the sound of Kihyun’s voice, his touch, his smell. 

 

But he’d never, _ever_ , forgotten just how obsessed he’d made him feel.

 

And seeing him at that party - he’s already forgotten whose party it was - Wonho was reminded of just how enchanting Kihyun was. He was reminded of how Kihyun had drawn him in the first time they’d met, how he’d made him feel as if he were going insane, and how utterly broken he’d felt when Kihyun had left. 

 

He had no idea he’d ever see him again. He also isn’t sure how he’s spent three years at the same university - never mind the same damned class - as Kihyun without either of them bumping into each other. But all he knows that since they _literally_ ran each other, he’s done nothing but think about the pink haired male who is currently glaring at the back of his head. 

 

 _“What the fuck are you doing here?”_ Kihyun had asked him - bellowed at him, actually - Wonho remembers. But Wonho had been so dumbfounded, so at loss for words, so _fucking_ enthralled, he hadn’t answered right away. By the time he’d thought of a coherent reply, before he could even fucking blink, Kihyun had already disappeared from his sight again. 

 

But now, Wonho is aware of Kihyun staring at him and he bites his lip, his eyes glued to the lecturer at the front of the room. He’s tempted - so, so tempted - to turn around. Just to look at him, to memorise the way he talk, smiles, frowns. 

 

He silently wonders if Kihyun ever did get that tattoo that he’d been planning to get to cover the scar on his hip. He wonders if he managed to go on the trip to England, just like he’d been working hard to save up for. He wonders if Kihyun’s mother got better, he wonders if his father got the promotion he’d worked so hard for. 

Wonho wonders a lot of things about Kihyun. 

 

But what’s most important to him, Wonho wonders - after all these years - did Kihyun ever think of him?

 

:

 

Class finally finishes, but Kihyun doesn’t notice. He zoned out halfway through the lecture, and when Changkyun calls his name and tells him it’s time to leave, he doesn’t hear him. 

 

“Kihyun?” Changkyun nudges him gently, but Kihyun jolts as if he’s been electrocuted. Wide eyed, Changkyun gawks at him before reluctantly pulling Kihyun to his feet. Kihyun wobbles, hands desperately grasping at Changkyun’s arm for balance. Changkyun is worried. “Ki,” He hisses, exasperated. “Ki, what’s wrong with you?”

 

Kihyun’s lips part, but no words come out. 

 

Wonho has stood from his seat and is now facing him, not even attempting to hide the fact that he’s eavesdropping. When Kihyun looks from him to Changkyun, and back again, Wonho clears his throat, slinging his bag over his shoulder. He meets Changkyun’s gaze and asks, “Is your friend alright?” 

 

Kihyun’s trance is broken and he snorts loudly. 

 

 _He’s going to pretend?_ He thinks, now infuriated. _Two can play this game._

 _  
_ Changkyun glances at Kihyun, confused, before offering Wonho a polite smile, “I think so, thanks.”

 

Wonho nods, daring to look at Kihyun again, only to find that Kihyun is already glaring at him. But he doesn’t miss the tiny slither of sweat that’s trickling down the Kihyun’s temple, his hair in disarray and his dilated pupils. He smiles. Kihyun’s eyes narrow.

 

Wonho then turns to Changkyun and offers his hand, “I’m Wonho. Lee Wonho.”

 

Changkyun, oblivious to Kihyun’s now paling face, reaches out to shake Wonho’s hand. “Changkyun. And this is Kihyun,” He points, unaware that Wonho already knows exactly who Kihyun is. Their classmates, along with the lecturer, have already filed out of the room, leaving the three behind. But none of them make a move to leave just yet. “It’s nice to meet you…” Changkyun trails off, looking Wonho up and down before asking, “Are you new here?”

 

Wonho grins and shakes his head, “Nope.” He adjusts the strap on his bag, “I’ve been here for three years.”

 

“Huh…” Changkyun frowns. “I’ve never seen you ‘round here before.” 

 

Wonho doesn’t mean to - or maybe he does - but he glances in Kihyun’s direction. The pink haired man isn’t looking at him anymore, but Wonho sees the way his ears have flushed red. “Yeah,” Wonho replies, facing Changkyun once more. “I usually keep to myself.” 

 

Changkyun quirks an eyebrow, surprised. “Really? You kinda look like a guy who has a lot of friends.” 

 

Wonho smirks, watching Kihyun from the corner of his eye. He hums an agreement, “Looks can be quite deceiving.” 

 

Kihyun chokes. 

 

Changkyun immediately turns to him, fretting, “Ki? Are you okay?” He doesn’t receive an answer, so he shakes Kihyun’s shoulder, “Ki?”

 

Kihyun swats him away, hand over his spluttering mouth. He glances at Wonho again, bile rising in the back of his throat. His stomach churns and it lurches painfully. He groans, swallowing. 

 

“Gottagobathroom,” He mumbles, the words morphing into one. Then before either Wonho or Changkyun can react, he’s running down the aisle and out of the room. 

 

There’s an awkward moment of silence before Changkyun begins to stumble after him. He pauses, remembering to grab his bag and wave goodbye to Wonho, with the promise that he’ll see him soon. Wonho doesn’t bet on it, knowing Kihyun, but he still nods and sends Changkyun off with a small smile. But as soon as Changkyun exists the room, his smile falters and his shoulders slump. 

 

He feels guilt. He feels sick. He feels angry at himself. But part of his anger is also aimed towards Kihyun. 

 

 _Four years they’ve spent apart_ , he thinks bitterly as he slowly makes his way back to his dorm. _Four fucking years._ And whilst Wonho catches himself hoping to make amends, make up for lost time, it seems Kihyun can’t even look at him. And Wonho finds that he doesn’t exactly blame him.

 

He runs a hand through his hair as he shoves his dorm room open. He has the room to himself, his last roommate having been kicked out for accidentally setting fire to his bed whilst smoking a joint. The one before him had been switched due to rivalry with the dorm next-door - Wonho still grimaces when he remembers how problematic it had been. 

 

He is yet to receive a new roommate, despite being told six days ago to expect someone to move in by the end of the week. He’s not exactly looking forward to it. He’s enjoyed the time by himself - it’s much easier to think when he’s by himself. However, for the past week, his thoughts always end up leading back to the same person, which only causes Wonho more frustration. 

 

He flops down on to his bed, eyes trailing to the empty one across the room. The wall still has a burn mark, and in that moment, Wonho decides that he should probably make a start on painting over it just in case his new roommate arrives. 

 

He silently hopes it’ll provide him the distraction that he so desperately craves.


	3. 03.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning; smut.

It’s five pm when a knock at the door interrupts Wonho from his thoughts. The paint has just about dried and he’s thinking about adding the second coat when he hears the noise. He’s grateful for the disturbance, however and he gladly drops the paintbrush back into the pot. Blowing air from his lips, he wipes his hand on his jogging bottoms and makes his way to the door, pulling it open. 

 

He freezes. 

 

“No fucking way.” 

 

“What are _you_ doing here?”

 

Wonho and Kihyun speak at the same time. 

 

Wonho can’t help but gawk at the the shorter man before him. He looks better than he did earlier, Wonho thinks. He’s showered, his eyes are more awake, and his skin has gained back the golden glow that it lacked earlier. He’s dressed simply, the neckline of his t-shirt slipping down far enough for Wonho to be able to see the purple bruise on his collarbone. Wonho feels his stomach sink. But before he can dwell on it, Kihyun is taking a step towards him, features morphing into a thunderous expression. 

 

“Did you do this on purpose?” He hisses, jabbing a finger at Wonho, purposely making sure that he doesn’t touch him.

 

Dumbfounded, Wonho can only blurt, “What?”

 

Then he notices the suitcase by Kihyun’s feet and he feels his own face pale. Kihyun glowers up at him. Wonho has blue paint caked up his arms; his shirt is probably ruined beyond repair and there’s a smear of paint down his left cheek. It’s even in his hair, Kihyun notices. 

 

Wonho licks his lip, frowning. 

 

Kihyun pulls back, eyes unblinking. “I swear to god,” He snaps. “If I find out this is your doing-”

 

“My doing?” Wonho interrupts, dazed. “What are you talking about?”

 

Kihyun’s fist clenches. But he doesn’t get the chance to reply, the sound of Changkyun’s voice forcing his mouth to slam shut. 

 

“Ki,” Changkyun calls from down the hall. Wonho’s head snaps to the left to see him dragging another two suitcases behind him. He’s not noticed Wonho, nor Kihyun for that matter, and he calls again, “Ki, did you find the-” He finally looks up and halts upon seeing Wonho. “Oh hey… Wonho, right?”

 

Wonho forces himself to not look at Kihyun and he nods at Changkyun. “Long time no see,” He jokes. 

 

Kihyun barges past him and saunters into the dorm, muttering ‘ _smart bastard_ ’ under his breath. Wonho pretends to not hear him. Instead, he swallows before offering to help Changkyun with the suitcases. 

 

Inside, Kihyun is stood awkwardly in the middle of the room. He’s silent as Changkyun and Wonho share small talk as they arrange Kihyun’s bags by the spare bed. They make conversation, but Kihyun doesn’t hear a word they’re saying. 

 

The room reeks of paint. The smell is strong enough to almost bring him to tears and Kihyun avoids breathing in through his mouth. The walls are painted a pale blue colour, which Kihyun immediately turns his nose up at. The carpet is a light cream colour, and the room itself is actually a lot bigger than the one he’s just moved out of. He easily has enough room for all of his belongings; he can even fit a desk beside his bed, if he wants one. 

 

The new accommodation building is also a lot closer to the university and cuts down his travel distance by at least forty minutes. It also puts some distance between him and Changkyun, whose flat is on the other side of town, which Kihyun is reluctant to admit that it isn’t exactly a bad thing. However, staring at the empty half of the room reminds Kihyun of who it is that occupies the other half. 

 

He’s tempted to change his mind, to walk right back out of there and go back to his old place. But there are so many benefits to this new dorm, and he also doesn’t want to give Wonho the satisfaction of watching him run away. Again. He’d made that mistake once before, four years, nine months and two days ago. He won’t do it again. 

 

Feeling eyes on him, Kihyun looks up and instantly locks gaze with Wonho. The two of them remain silent, trying to decipher what the other is thinking. Wonho doesn’t like what he sees and is the first to break eye contact, but Kihyun continues to glare right through him.

 

He catches sight of the feigned smirk that ghosts over Wonho’s lips and he can feel his temper flaring again. But then Changkyun says his name, a hand on his shoulder, and the spell is broken. Kihyun blinks. He turns around and after a moments hesitation, he forces a smile to his lips. 

 

“You don’t have to do this, you know,” Changkyun says. “You practically live at mine anyway.” 

 

 _That’s the problem_ , Kihyun thinks. But he doesn’t say it. 

 

He’s not willing to admit it out loud, but he’s unsure of which option is worse. Sharing a room with the man he’s been pretending to forget about for the past four years - or moving in with his boyfriend and live a life feeling suffocated. 

 

He winces. That’s harsh of him. Changkyun means well, Kihyun knows he does. But Kihyun can’t help but feel as if he’s slowly becoming another of Changkyun’s belongings. Something to show off. Someone to use against his parents when they piss him off. He knows it’s not fair of him to think this way. He knows Changkyun loves him. There’s no part of him that doubts it. 

 

So why is he questioning whether he feels the same way?

 

Kihyun takes one look at the dark haired man before him and he feels like shit for even questioning it. 

 

 _No_ , he berates himself. _He does love Changkyun._

 

He just needs some space. Even if it means sharing a room with the one man whose mere existence is enough to make his blood boil. He’ll deal with that so that he can better himself. So he can be the man who Changkyun thinks he is. So he can be the man who Changkyun deserves. 

 

He pats a hand against Changkyun’s cheek, smiling as he watches the younger lean into his touch. “I’ve already paid the lease.” He gently flicks a finger against Changkyun’s nose, “Anyway, it’s only ‘till the end of the year.” 

 

The younger’s mouth turns downwards. He then throws an arm over Kihyun’s shoulder, his lips by his ear as he whispers, “I’m gonna miss you.”

 

The sound of the door slamming shut prevents Kihyun from replying. 

 

Changkyun glances over his shoulder to see that Wonho has left without saying a word. Kihyun swallows. 

 

He lets Changkyun pull him closer, his arms wrapping around the younger male’s waist. Changkyun smells of his favourite shampoo, the berry flavoured one, and Kihyun inhales as he pressed his lips against Changkyun’s neck. The younger shivers against him. Kihyun lifts his head to look at him for several long seconds. Then all of a sudden, they’re kissing feverishly, Kihyun’s fingers are in Changkyun’s hair, stumbling backwards as Changkyun pushes him against the wall. Kihyun’s lips part Changkyun’s and their tongues clash passionately. 

 

It doesn’t take long for Kihyun to feel lightheaded and just as he thinks he may actually faint, Changkyun breaks the kiss. Kihyun inhales deeply, only for a strangled moan to spill past his lips as Changkyun sucks on the sweet spot just below his ear. 

 

“Ki,” the dark haired male murmurs, his fingers daring to sneak their way under Kihyun’s shirt. Kihyun stiffens, but then Changkyun traps him against the wall, and his protest dies on the tip of his tongue. “Ki,” Changkyun’s voice dances down his ear, but Kihyun is too busy concentrating on Changkyun’s quick fingers which are now undoing the clasp of his belt. Changkyun presses another kiss on his neck and Kihyun breathes a low moan. 

 

“I-In here?” He manages to choke out just as Changkyun begins to pull his jeans past his hips. The buckle on his belt makes a loud thud as it hits the floor and Kihyun’s heart races as he watches Changkyun lick his bottom lip before answering. 

 

“In here.” 

 

Kihyun feels his abdomen tense at the way Changkyun’s voice has deepened lustfully. 

 

Changkyun eyes him, gaze darkening. His fingers tease with the waistband of Kihyun’s boxers. “Is that alright?”

 

Kihyun doesn’t answer. He can’t concentrate and Changkyun hasn’t even touched him yet. A slender finger traces the outline of his bulge and Kihyun’s breathing falters. 

 

“Answer me,” Changkyun growls in his ear, and Kihyun swallows. The temperature in the room soars and he can feel his skin heating up. But instead of giving Changkyun the answer he wants, Kihyun’s hips jerk upwards, craving contact. Changkyun smirks and Kihyun feels his stomach flip at the sight.

 

With heavily lidded eyes, he watches as Changkyun lowers to his knees, and the sight is enough for Kihyun’s erection to throb. He swallows, leaning back against the wall for support. Changkyun is quick to peel his boxers down his legs, and Kihyun lets them sit around his ankles. His fingers are already buried in the dark strands of Changkyun’s hair and the younger’s fingers slowly wrap their way around his aching phallus. His breath is hot on Kihyun’s skin and the pink haired man’s hips jolt as Changkyun’s tongue glides along the vein on his shaft. Changkyun’s lips part and he allows the tip of Kihyun’s dick to stroke the roof of his mouth.

 

“Jesus,” Kihyun groans, his head tilting back against the wall. His eyes screw shut and his jaw hangs slack, unable to form another word as Changkyun allows him to thrust further into his mouth. “K-Kyun,” He chokes out, but he’s unable to finish his sentence as Changkyun hums, the vibration making his toes curl euphorically. He fists Changkyun’s hair, pulling him closer. Changkyun’s eyes water and he audibly gags. The sound makes Kihyun’s groin pulsate and he gasps out a loud moan. 

 

Changkyun hums again, blinking back tears. There’s a tightness in his jeans and with his spare hand, he massages his throbbing groin. He feels Kihyun’s hand pulling his hair and he squeezes his eyes shut, whimpering. Kihyun stiffens at the sound. Changkyun can already taste the tanginess of Kihyun’s ecstasy. And then without warning, Changkyun’s name is spilling past Kihyun’s lips over and over again. His seed is thick and salty and it clings to the insides of Changkyun’s cheeks but the dark haired man doesn’t care and he withdraws, swallowing.  

 

It takes several seconds for Kihyun’s eyes to open, and he takes a few shaky breaths, Changkyun tugging his boxers back over his hips. Changkyun grins toothily, but Kihyun is too spent to return the gesture. Instead, he hunches over, cheek resting against Changkyun’s shoulder. The younger’s arms wrap around him and Kihyun feels his chest rumble as he chuckles, “You good?”

 

Kihyun snorts. “What do you think?”

 

Changkyun smiles. They stand in silence for a while. Then Changkyun breaks the silence and he tells Kihyun that he loves him. 

 

Kihyun already knows. 

 

He hums, eyes closing. Changkyun waits for Kihyun to say he loves him too. But he doesn’t and it fills Changkyun with unease. It’s later that evening when Changkyun realises what’s just happened. He’s lying in bed, the covers pulled right up to his chin, his eyes swollen with exhaustion. He stares at the empty space beside him and he feels stupid. 

 

Changkyun rolls over and when he eventually falls asleep, he does so with tears in his eyes. 


	4. 04.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: although this is the final part, I may end up writing a prequel, just to explain Kihyun's and Wonho's past.

Wonho doesn’t return for two days. And Kihyun is both relieved and terrified. Relieved that he’s had two days to unpack and settle into his new room. Changkyun has called him several times, just to make sure he’s okay - which Kihyun reassured him that he was. But he doesn’t tell Changkyun how terrified he is to see Wonho again. 

 

Every morning he wakes in his new room, he catches himself looking at the bed on the opposite side, his chest heavy when he realises that it’s vacant. He spends two days thinking of ways to approach the situation. 

 

Does he pretend as if he’s no longer affected? _No, no_ , Kihyun thinks. _He’s always been a terrible liar._ Wonho would know he’s lying; he’s always known Kihyun better than anyone else. Or maybe he doesn’t anymore, Kihyun isn’t sure. _Four years is a long time._

 

He debates on whether he should tell Wonho exactly how he made him feel. _No_ , Kihyun thinks again, changing his mind. He’s never been good at expressing any emotion other than anger. And Kihyun isn’t sure if he could handle Wonho laughing in his face if Kihyun told him just exactly how he feels. 

 

No, Kihyun decides that he prefers the first option. He’ll just pretend as if they are strangers. Keep things civil. Their history is exactly where it should be - in the past. They don’t need to drag up old memories, old feelings, old betrayals. Kihyun can try to do that. So long as Wonho agrees to do the same. 

 

It’s eleven pm on Sunday night and Kihyun is in the middle of practicing what he wants to say. He’s sat up in his bed, laptop on his knee, glasses perched upon the bridge of his nose. He’s supposed to be writing an essay, but instead, he’s staring at the screen, expression blank. His lips mouth silently mouth the words he plans to say, but the sound of the door opening makes his jaw lock. 

 

Wonho feels Kihyun’s eyes on him as soon as he kicks the door shut behind him. He shivers, even though it’s warm inside. Kihyun closes his laptop and Wonho looks up, throwing his bag onto his bed. He stands in the middle of the room, eyes locking onto Kihyun who is gaping up at him, lips parted. 

 

Wonho doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t know what to say either. But then Kihyun stands from the bed, straightening his clothes, pushing his glasses further up his nose. He’s dressed in a t-shirt and pair of old jogging bottoms that Wonho easily recognises. They’re the exact same pair that he’d given to Kihyun after the time he’d slept over when they were still teenagers. He’s not even surprised that they still fit; Kihyun’s always been skinny. And as Wonho’s eyes slowly trail up and down his lithe frame, Kihyun fidgets before deciding to speak up. 

 

“Listen, I think we need to talk.” 

 

Wonho looks at him for a long time before he turns away without replying. He sits on the edge of his bed, elbows resting on his thighs. He runs a hand over his face and Kihyun notices the bags under his eyes. He chews the inside of his cheek, sitting down on his bed and watching. Wonho’s fingers run through his hair, the strands standing on end. Eventually he replies, “Yes. I think we do.” 

 

Kihyun nods, sitting up straight. “Okay… Well do you want to go first or should-?”

 

Wonho interrupts, “I’ve been living in here for almost three years, so I have a few rules. One, don’t leave your clothes everywhere - or any food - that shit is annoying and gross and I’m not cleaning up after you.” He doesn’t have to worry about this. He knows - or at least he used to - that Kihyun is a self proclaimed neat freak with OCD. He continues. “Two, you do your thing, I do mine. Don’t go through my shit, don’t even come on my side of the room.” 

  
He watches Kihyun nod, but there’s a distant look in his eyes that irritates Wonho. _He’s not even fucking listening to me._ So he decides to make sure that he has Kihyun’s attention in the pettiest way he knows how. 

 

“Three, the next time you decide to mouth fuck your boyfriend, make sure the door is fucking shut properly.” 

 

Kihyun’s eyes widen. He can already feel his cheeks warming, and even though he heard what Wonho said, he still asks, “W-What?”

 

Wonho’s eyebrow quirks challengingly. 

 

Internally, Kihyun is panicking. _Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck._ His palms are sweaty and he mentally curses himself for letting Changkyun seduce him so easily. His heart races and he feels like throwing up. 

 

“I-I,” He stammers. “I thought it was closed. I-I didn’t know…” He trails off, frown deepening. He thinks back to that day and he chews on his bottom lip. “W-Wait…” Suddenly, his entire demeanour changes and Wonho watches as Kihyun’s expression shifts into of anger. His voice hardens, “The door was shut.” 

 

Wonho is silent. 

 

Kihyun angrily runs a hand through his hair before jabbing a finger in Wonho’s direction. He rises from the bed throwing his glasses onto the mattress. “You left. We heard the door shut.” He feels his stomach churn. His nose scrunches with disgust and he hisses, “Did you fucking watch us?”

 

Wonho doesn’t even get the chance to reply. 

 

“Oh my fucking god. You did, didn’t you?” Kihyun’s voice raises. His eyes follow Wonho as the taller man stands, muscular form rigid. “You _sick_ fuck.”

 

Wonho’s nostrils flare. “This is _my_ room. I have the right to come and go as I please.” He feels his fists clench. “I didn’t realise I’d be coming back to see your boyfriend on his knees with your fucking cock in his mouth.” 

 

Kihyun’s expression is murderous. “Fuck you.” 

 

Wonho scoffs, “Well I don’t have to, do I?” He shakes his head. “You’ve got your pretty little boyfriend for that.” 

 

Kihyun’s jaw clenches, “His name is Changkyun.”

 

Wonho doesn’t care what his fucking name is. “Tell me, where’d you pick him up from? We’re in the same class, so here, right?” He doesn’t let Kihyun speak. “Do you sing him to sleep at night? Do you guys have secret sex in the back of his car like we used to?” He doesn’t bother waiting for an answer. “Tell me, do you have his initials tattooed? Huh? Do you?” He marches forward and grabs Kihyun’s arms, twisting them so he can see the insides of his wrists. He sees the initials that were embedded into Kihyun’s skin over four years ago and his breath hitches. 

 

L.W. 

 

“Get the fuck off me,” Kihyun strains, attempting to pull his arm free. But Wonho is much bigger and much stronger than he is. Eventually Wonho lets go and Kihyun is able to shove him backwards. “What the hell is wrong with you!?” Kihyun snaps, rubbing his wrists that are now sore. 

 

Wonho blinks down at him, stunned. 

 

“You had no right to watch me… Us… That.” 

 

Wonho swallows, expression stoic. He laughs humourlessly and Kihyun’s arms hang limply by his sides. Wonho looks distraught. “He doesn’t know about me.” 

 

It isn’t a question. He already knows the answer. Kihyun is silent. His eyes are wet and he’s struggling to not let his tears fall. 

 

This isn’t how their conversation was supposed to go. 

 

Wonho scoffs. “Four years,” He starts. 

 

Kihyun blinks and he shakes his head, taking a step back. “Don’t.” 

 

But Wonho ignores him. “Four fucking years,” His voice betrays him and it cracks. He swallows, embarrassed. “I haven’t seen you for four years and when I do, you’re… You’re…” He can’t bring himself to finish. “I don’t get it.” 

 

“There’s nothing to fucking get!” Kihyun snaps. “Whatever this was,” His hand waves between himself and Wonho. “It fucking finished four years ago. We’re nothing.” His words are like venom and Wonho can’t help but taste it on the tip of his own tongue. He blinks slowly but Kihyun isn’t finished, “I moved on. I moved on and I forgot about you.” 

 

Wonho flinches. Kihyun sees it but doesn’t care. 

 

“I forgot all about you.” 

 

There’s a brief moment of silence and with one look at Kihyun’s face, Wonho knows he’s lying. 

 

He clears his throat and he chooses his words carefully, “I just find it fucking hilarious that you act like you don’t know me - like you didn’t know me for ten fucking years. But we both know that four years ago, it was me who had your cock in my mouth.” 

 

Kihyun sees red. 

 

He doesn’t know where he gets the strength from, but one minute he’s standing with tears in his eyes, and the next, his fist is hurtling through the air and colliding with Wonho’s nose. 

 

Wonho doesn’t even try to dodge it. 

 

Kihyun stumbles back, staring at his fist. His hand is throbbing and his knuckles are already reddening. But it’s no match for the scarlet blood pouring from Wonho’s nostrils. The taller man doesn’t even bother wiping it away. He slowly turns back to face Kihyun who is gaping back up at him, terrified. 

 

For a long time, neither of them speak. Wonho can hear Kihyun breathing heavily and Kihyun’s body trembles. 

 

“Do it again.” 

 

Kihyun blinks, stunned. “W-What?”

 

Wonho’s expression is thunderous. His eyes are darker and he easily towers over Kihyun who isn’t even sure he heard him correctly. So Wonho repeats himself. 

 

“Hit me.” 

 

Kihyun scoffs, but inside he’s terrified. 

 

“Fucking hit me!” Wonho suddenly bellows, marching towards him. But before he reaches him, the palm of Kihyun’s hand sharply connects with his cheek and Wonho feels his head whip to the right. 

 

Kihyun’s heart races. His hand aches but a part of him craves to do it again. To make Wonho feel a fraction of the pain he went through four years ago. 

 

Wonho wipes his hand under his nose, but the blood smears across his cheek and Kihyun can’t help but feel a little guilty. _No_ , he reprimands himself. _Fucking tell him how he made you feel._

 

His hand raises and Wonho doesn’t make a move to fight him. But instead of hitting his face, Kihyun’s fist curls and he uses all of his strength to punch Wonho in his abdomen. Wonho doubles over, taken aback. Kihyun feels his eyes water and before he can stop himself, he’s screaming incoherently, his fists hitting Wonho over and over again. But with each hit, his strength weakens and it’s not long before his hands fall to his sides. 

 

His head lowers and he feels his chest heave as a broken sob escapes him. 

 

“I’m sorry.” 

 

The words only make Kihyun wail louder. 

 

Wonho carefully inches closer, his eyes stinging. But he refuses to cry. He has no right to. Hesitantly, he carefully wraps a hand around Kihyun’s wrist. Kihyun flinches, but he doesn’t have the strength to fight back as Wonho wraps his arms around his shoulders, enveloping him. Kihyun’s legs buckle beneath him and Wonho has to gently lower him to the ground, dragging the smaller man to sit on his lap. 

 

Kihyun’s tears are staining his shirt, but Wonho doesn’t care. He sees the smeared blood on his hand, slowly turning crimson as it congeals. He ignores it, tightening his hold on the pink haired man whose cries are starting to slow. He’s hiccuping in a way that makes it sound as if he’ll cry again, but Wonho isn’t paying attention.

 

For the first time in years, he’s holding Kihyun. It’s been so long, it almost feels foreign to him. His fingertips feel the knots in Kihyun’s spine as he gently runs a hand up his back. Kihyun trembles against him and Wonho hears him sniffle again. His lips press against Kihyun’s temple and he inhales, his eyes closing. 

 

Kihyun smells of books and berry scented shampoo mixed with the spiced flavour of Kihyun’s favourite crisps. Wonho doesn’t remember how he used to smell - _because four years is a fucking long time_ \- but he imagines the smell of Kihyun now is just like how it was before and he thinks it’s bliss. 

 

And when Kihyun manages to pull himself free from Wonho’s grasp, Wonho can’t help but stare at him. He wants to memorise him all over again. He wants to trace the scar on his hip and he wants to kiss every part of him that he’s missed kissing for four fucking years.

 

 _He’s so close,_ Wonho realises. All it would take is for him to lean in and - 

 

“What the fuck are you doing?”

 

Wonho blinks rapidly, frozen. His cheeks flush with embarrassment and he clears his throat, leaning back. Kihyun immediately scrambles away from him and Wonho instantly feels the lack of his body heat. He watches as Kihyun gets to his feet, running a hand through his hair. His nose is pink and his eyes are swollen and his skin is flushed. With anger, Wonho can’t tell. But it doesn’t matter to him, because all he can focus on is how fucking beautiful Kihyun looks and it makes his chest constrict painfully. He stands, almost taking a step towards the pink haired man.

 

“I hate you.” 

 

It’s barely a whisper, but Wonho hears the words loud and clear. He falters. 

 

Kihyun’s eyes meet his and Wonho sees that this time, Kihyun isn’t lying. 

 

He really does fucking hate him. 

 

“I don’t want you to speak to me again,” Kihyun speaks hesitantly and his voice shakes. But he means it. He thinks. “Don’t touch me, don’t look at me. I don’t care what you do, so long as you don’t ever come near me again.” 

 

Wonho doesn’t speak. 

 

“As far as I’m concerned, you don’t exist in my past, present or future. You’re just a roommate. A stranger,” Kihyun forces himself to say. 

 

Wonho swallows and says, “Funny how you have so much hate for someone who is just a fucking stranger to you.” 

 

Kihyun’s eyes narrow and he snarls, “Fuck you, Wonho.” 

 

Wonho’s eyebrows furrow. It’s strange hearing him saying his name after all these years. And even though Kihyun is is furious with him, Wonho can see him inching towards the door and he blurts out the first thing he thinks of to make him stay. 

 

“What about Hyungwon? Are you going to pretend he doesn’t exist too?” 

 

Kihyun’s back is facing him, but Wonho sees the way his body tenses and immediately knows he’s fucked up. But to his surprise, Kihyun doesn’t even say a word. Instead, he leaves. 

 

Wonho watches him march to the door, and he throws it open so roughly that it ricochets off the wall. He doesn’t look at Wonho again. And without another word, Kihyun leaves, slamming the door shut behind him. 

 

For a long time, Wonho doesn’t move. 

 

He stares at the closed door and decides that watching Kihyun leave him behind is just as painful now as it was four years ago.


End file.
